Encouragement in Getting Healthy

No pictures on this post for now, I just don't have a good one yet. This post is a little out of my normal realm but I hope readers will forgive me. I am feeling really pressed lately to start working on posts that are encouraging and helpful in this area of life. I hope to make this only the beginning.

Like so many others in our society right now, there is someone that I love that is clinically labeled "morbidly obese." I have watched her for many years as she struggled to get healthy and get fit... again, and again, and again. I saw her during the "Phen-Fen" years, where she dropped more weight than I remember her ever losing; I watched all that come back after the medication was no longer available. In truth, I'll take the "larger her" than the scary medicine. I've known this person all my life and love her deeply and want to see her succeed in her quest to be healthier and to regain  herself in the process.

Let's be clear, this person is, in so many ways, amazing - and she is wonderful, but this is an area of struggle for her. She is at the end of raising six children. Of those six, all of them talk to her pretty frequently, and only one lives farther than two hours away from her. She has worked two jobs at a time to make ends meet for years and years. She is wonderful with babies and newborns - they adore her (and sleep for her, God bless them!) I'd say that makes for a lot of positives in life!

Up to now, I have watched people in society make nasty, jeering comments; laughing when they thought she was not aware that they were looking; whispering to one another over what food, or how much, was on her plate... Though she puts on a pretty good face of self-confidence, I know from other events that have taken place in her life that she struggles with that. Her weight is one symptom of that. The number of negative, snarky, unsupportive people she surrounds herself with is another: She doesn't feel worthy of being loved or of being fit and healthy. And she is absolutely worthy of both.

Scenic Sunday: Washington DC Folklife Festival

I realized after last week's post that if my pictures were going to be taken on Saturday, the actual "Scenic" posts would be Sunday! So continuing on with what I started last week, here are some photos taken yesterday while attending the Smithsonian Folklife Festival in Washington DC with my family and friends. I am using these posts as a way to encourage me to look more closely at the beauty - and sometimes oddity - in the world around me. I am not always the most observant person in the world, largely because I am busy keeping a head count to make sure all of the children are accounted for. Enjoy the story of our day!

Each year the Smithsonian Folklife Festival focuses on three things: a country (Columbia), a type of music (Soul/Blues), and an organization (Peace Corps.)

Smeagol's Birthday Story

How terrible! I got so wrapped up in making an awesome birthday party happen for Smeagol's ninth birthday that I didn't put his birth-day story on here the way I did for Buttercup, or the way I had intended. So though this is a bit late, I am putting it up now. As I mentioned for Buttercup, these posts are largely for my children way down the line, but I am happy to share them, as I remember them, because some day I may not be able to tell the story any longer, for whatever reasons.

The earliest digital shot I could find of Smeagol - all the rest are on hard copy! He's about 3 here.

Our Smeagol is the only one of the four children that was born in a hospital with a "regular" Obstetrician (as opposed to a midwife) attending.

Meeting on Common Ground

We sleep in a queen-size bed. Given that we've been married for twelve years, I know this is not a shock to anyone. Buttercup is transitioning out of the queen-sized bed. That might be somewhat more of a shock, but we keep a family-bed concept going for the first couple of years and then move them to their own space (or more likely, space that they enjoy sharing with a sibling.) Most nights, the queen-size bed is fairly comfortable for the three of us: all have enough room and covers; we're cozy and warm without being crowded.

Buttercup's Birthday Story

December 6 is not only the day St. Nicholas is commemorated in the Orthodox Church (see the previous post for more about him) but also our young Buttercup's birthday. Last night as I watched her sleeping, it occurred to me that there are things that I did for the first three, in some fashion, but never did for her. One was to create a "Dear You" book. For each of the first three - to lesser and lesser degrees - I began journals in which I wrote down thoughts and notes and memories for them to carry with them in the future. This blog has largely taken the place of those books. Keeping up with four was just too difficult because I had so much to say!

So here is a bit of her "birth story" - for it's good, bad and funny - mostly, just for her.

Happy Birth-Day! Maybe 15 or 20 minutes old here (? Someone will have to correct me in the comments!)

My water broke unexpectedly - and at home. After four children, this is a first for me. It also is not a good sign because events go quickly for me once that happens. I have the greatly appreciated fortune of a long early labor (the non-painful part!) but it can make gauging when to take the kids to friends' houses difficult at times. In the case of Buttercup, we had taken the boys to our priest's house the weekend before so they could spend time with his family while I faced the possibility of going to the birthing center. After "imposing" on them for three days, we went back to pick the boys up - at that point it seemed clear, we were still in the earliest "hurry up and wait" part. How very military of my children!

When my water finally did break, the priest's wife had to leave town that weekend and so they couldn't take the boys. The next nearest family that I could think of on the spur of the moment lived thirty minutes to the west of us - the birthing center was around 45 minutes to the southeast of us - if there was no traffic (thank goodness it was a weekend, otherwise driving into Annapolis can cause quite a bit of trouble!)

So as I got the kids ready, made a phone call to see if this family could come out to get the boys at the last minute, unannounced, and tried to decide if this was really the time to go (or should I wait??), Jeffery worked to help me and convince me that he really did know me "that well" and that I needed to make moves to get to the birthing center - bless his heart. I finally agreed as the contractions got stronger and I was in increasing amounts of discomfort. I was putting my coat on a short fifteen minutes later, when he came over to give me a string of names "if it's a girl." Some of the names I'd heard before, but at the time it sure seemed like they were all new and out of the blue! In the end, she has three middle names and without the third middle name, her initials would spell "MACE." God has a sense of humor - ha!

We called the family taking the boys to tell them that we were on the way - but decided with them that it would be better if they met us at our church half-way in between to pick them up. Normally, it takes about 30 minutes to get to the church building - this time it took about 18, I think. Either way, as we pulled up, they were not yet there so I called them on the cell phone. They were almost to the exit to the church but told us to go on ahead and they would follow us there. Bless them - they were willing to take on a mad-dash to Annapolis on the spur-of-the-minute. It's good to have caring friends!

Here she is about 1 year old

I called the midwife to tell her we were coming - shoot! Answering service. Once she called back, she asked me all the standard questions: what's going on? What has happened? etc. probing to see if perhaps we didn't need to come in just yet. I told her that I was already on the way because once my water is broken, I have less than an hour (usually) before delivery. She agreed at that point!

I had also gotten in touch with our great friend Beth (the one who has the Spinster Beth blog) and she was on the way from her house to meet us at the birthing center. We have been friends with her for many years and she has been to all but one of my four deliveries - she is of immense help and is a wonderful friend to have at all times of the year! As we continued down the freeway, I believe I worried out boys a bit more as each moment passed. I alternately froze them out by opening the window and then warmed them up on closing it (it was early December, of course!) Labor is hard work.

After a point, I did not feel like I was going to make it as far as the Center so I called Beth and told her... then that "I have to go!" before hanging up on her. Poor girl spent the rest of the drive in fear that she would see our car pulled to the side of the road at any moment. She also said later that she had never been on the phone with me and heard such silence in the background! The boys were, as I said, a little unnerved, I think.

This past July 4th at about 18 months

I called the midwife and told her the same thing and she asked where we were at. As I looked up, I was greatly relieved to see that we were actually only about two or three exits away. Jeffery had cut a 40 minute drive down to about 20! Poor Beth, I did not have it in me to call her back to say we were okay. We pulled into the parking lot and the boys were hustled out by our friends and whisked away for a day of fun, Beth pulled in just behind them as I shuffled my way into the building. The birthing center only has three rooms, so I was relieved to see that (unlike the weekend before) two of the rooms were empty and I could go right in. Our lovely Buttercup was born a scant 40 minutes later.

In each of my four labors I have had some little thing stand out in my head even while in the hardest parts of labor. With Buttercup, as she was emerging, she was half-way into the world and I was sure that the midwife would do as other OB's do and help her shoulders so we moved along. This midwife just looked at me when I asked about it and said, "You're doing a great job!" with this nice smile. Hmmm... perhaps things were going well, but really? Well, okay thanks for the encouragement, I think. Either way, welcome to the world!

And our Buttercup at two years old. She'll make a lovely - if a bit forceful - lady someday!

2010 Hallowe'en Follow Up -

Well, at the expense of my originally-planned "election day" post (which I've just deleted - the overall message: make sure you vote but whomever you choose, make sure you've educated yourself as to who is the "right" candidate for your area and why they deserve your support!) here is my post-Hallowe'en post (hee hee) with the promised pictures included! Hello to the grandparents...

First up is "Herman Munster" - okay, he got many compliments on his "Frankenstein" costume, but Maestro even had old Herman's walk down! And his new clunky Heelies helped complete the look!

Next in line is our "Wii Console" - Smeagol has always thought a little (if you'll pardon the expression!) outside the box - and now it's put him in the box! Well, we went to great lengths to make sure every detail was included - you can't see it in this photo, but the "back" of the console has the ventilation slots and next to the "DVD" in the front (shiny half-moon thing that you can see in this pic) is a blue glow stick, just like when the console lights up when ejecting a disk!

Bruiser really wanted to be a "Ghost with a Sword" and not just any sword, but the one he saw two months ago at the Dollar Store near post. And the face on the ghost had to be done just that way, I suspect to imitate the Charlie Brown Great Pumpkin costumes. I messed it up though - poor guy had such a hard time seeing out of the left eye :-\ He had a great time.

Ahhh... Here is Buttercup - sporting her lovely butterfly look. Can't have a scary basket to go out as a beautiful butterfly, so her colorful Easter basket was brought out to take care of the conflict. Two things to notice here: I managed to get her hair to stand up for the "antennae" (Awesome!) and she is squeezing her eyes shut in anticipation of the flash! These kids crack me up!

And one final costume - this one from a bit farther off, hailing from Tacoma, Washington, we have my mother - the Great Pumpkin. Notice the green topknot and the striped orange shirt. She had a gal doing face painting at the shop and had her put the make up on.

Perhaps it's a little scarier than Mom wanted, and a tad less Great Pumpkin-ish, but then again, if you were a Great Pumpkin and only giving one shot a year to the believing boys and girls of the United States... wouldn't you look a little scary too? (Either way, I think it's an awesome Nana-ish thing to do and hope all the local Tacoma Grandkids had a blast with her!)

In the Charlie Brown movie, Linus gets worried over a slip of saying, "If the Great Pumpkin comes..." So the big question is: did she find a pumpkin patch that was sincere enough to leave toys and presents? Well, our ghost, featured above, might have something to say about that... but he is out cold from a sugar-induced high, and the resulting crash that comes after! He'll have to tell us all about it tomorrow!

Hallowe'en Memories: Before There Were M-n-M's

One of the purposes of the business I run from my home is to preserve memories. On occasion I want to share some of the more poignant memories I come across - whether in my day-to-day activities or in my business.

On one of the religious discussion forums on which I am a member, we recently had the annual "Hallowe'en-is-evil/good/okay" debate. This is the discussion during which we go over whether or not Hallowe'en is of Satanic or Pagan origin, whether it is okay for kids to dress up and go trick-or-treating, whether we should be rejecting the holiday all together - even whether or not it should even be called a "holi (holy) day!"

Well, we "do" Hallowe'en with a pretty closed view on which types of costumes are allowed and which are on the "banned" list. The kids go door-to-door with their friends before retiring to one porch or another to check out their hauls. Some memories, when shared, just grab me and invite me to become part of that world, if only for a few minutes. There were two people who shared their Hallowe'en memories on the forum that reminded me of my own childhood. Several of us on were inclined to remember our own memorable Hallowe'en moments as a result. These are the two I'd like to share in this post.

Both are from around the time of WWII, during which rationing was taking place and things were harder in terms of day-to-day life. I share their memories here, with their permission...

This first was written by Theodora in the Mounain (Hermit,)

During the war, that is the WWII era, rationing and hard times were the sign of the times (and for you young ones who think all of this wasn't real but just propaganda for the movies, it was life as lived then) Halloween was quiet different. Now remember these are the days before "M&Ms" for these little treats were developed for the soldiers...to have a high energy pick up that would not melt all over everything. What we got was "homebaked" cookies, candy in the form of sticks or hard handy (also homemade or saved up over the year just for the kids) and asorted nuts (we had pecan tree in our back yard and saved alot for this night and Christmas) and if you were really lucky you got real fresh apples or oranges (things you couldn't get much on rations). My brothers and I would bring the apples and nuts home to my father who would diced them up and make apple turnovers the following Sunday. What a treat for all. We dressed in homemade outfits: hoboes, soldiers (if you were lucky to have a real army metal helmet), Huck Finn, tramps and princess, nurse, gypsy, etc for the girls. We would usually meet after"doing the neighborhood" at someone's house and dunk for apples (more to take home to dad) and play games and such. You see it wasn't until after WWII that the soldiers got home to discover that the bits of chocolate they came to love wasn't make for us civies. And when one could save enough coupons for "dried chocolate" it was used only for that special cake. But the soldiers wanted their "M&Ms" (Military ---- I forget what they called them). I remember eating my first when a neighbor came home from the war and brought some and gave us kids a few each. We didn't celebrate the devil or anything "bad", it was just "kids' night" and yes, All Saints was observed and in many a family one went to Church and then to the cemetery to put wild flowers or bright leaves on the graves of those we loved so..especially those killed in action.

And a recollection from a man in the same generation, who was in a California neighborhood...

Ah! You bring back memories: the neighborhood 'haunted house' where the kids lined up to crawl through the window, and had to feel the 'dead man's eye balls' (peeled grapes) and the dead man's guts (cold spaghetti!) and a few other things, and then we had the party in the living room. We had ghosts in old white sheets, fairy princesses in little ballerina costumes with tinsel crowns and glittered wands, and pirates etc. Lots of fun for all. And there were lots of apples and oranges handed out.

In our house, these are the types of memories we try to encourage. My own childhood Hallowe'ens were similar - my most memorable costumer was when I wore my mother's wedding dress and went as a bride. She worked so hard to pin the dress up so it wouldn't drag the ground! I don't remember ever buying our outfits, but I remember all the excitement and planning and anticipation that went into making our costumes! What could we pull together from what was already in the scrap bag?

I am fond of those memories - so for those who say that Hallowe'en is borne from times of pagan worship, well, perhaps it is historically, but in our church it has been said that God makes good come of all things. For me, those long-ago Hallowe'ens were times that helped bring me closer to my then-new stepfamily. I use it now to help my children come closer together as they plan and create their own costumes, learn to compromise over the "favorite" candy, and bond in ways that they will reminisce over in the years to come. In three days - I'll post pictures of the costumes they have picked this year - for now, I give you pictures of past outfits. Last year we had a scarecrow, a bumblebee, a horse, and I do believe a campy vampire did sneak into the fray, using an old tux shirt and a handmade cape - no blood allowed though, he was a sugar vampire ;) Enjoy!

Necessity of Friendship

Last Sunday was a dear friend's birthday. Usually we take our spinster-friend out to a tea house for high tea. Before you think I'm being mean calling her a "spinster," here is a plug for her blog: www.spinsterbeth.blogspot.com You'll see her spinning wheel in one of the photos.

So, we're going to tea... We've considered wearing hats, but I don't usually have one to wear. I need something huge and gaudy and outrageous I think. Most years, we have three for tea - but one of our numbers is out of town until September, so this year we'll have

tea for two...
and two for tea...

(anyone know this song? Or am I just the Queen of Old Songs? Well, it is a song about two lovers, which she and I are decidedly NOT so I can only use that part of the lyrics for this post.)

This same wonderful friend has been a Godsend when Jeff has been out of town on business trips - she has come over when the kids were driving me crazy, she has come over just to sit and play Othello or checkers, and she and a few other friends come over nearly every Saturday evening for dinner, fellowship, and games. Our Saturday night group is a mixed bag - military, civilian, veteran, knitters, woodworkers, married, single, with and without children and somehow we all manage to find enough points of similarity to form a sort-of extended family in it all. The kids ask about each other through the week; the adults keep in touch via Facebook and e-mail, planning meals, deciding who will bring what this week, etc. Two ladies knit, I crochet, but don't have the same... shall we say... obsession for yarn-craft that they do.

A neighbor comes by every so often to have tea and an afternoon chat. Our children play together constantly and we feel at ease in making sure they behave, whether talking to our own children or those of the other. She and her family have come by for dinner once or twice, and have joined us at neighborhood gatherings and "happy hour" at another neighbor's down the street.

Another group I gather with has four to five women, including myself. In that group, we have a military retiree, two military veterans and one who is still active duty. We all met through work. I know only that one is heavy into scrapbooking, two love baseball, and we all have a pretty rowdy party when we go out.

In each of these groups, there may be only one or two places of similar interest or background or life experience - but I feel safe in these groups. I find the camaraderie with them that I joined the Navy to find fourteen years ago. Whether an all-women group, or mixed, we share news of our days, plans for the future and troubles. In return, we offer jests and good-naured ribbing, we offer laughter, we offer advice - and sometimes, in kindness and love and respect for one another, we offer rebuke, knowing that the friendships will hold strong.

I have talked to several people recently who are looking for those connections - people who have them, and don't always realize it. So I started looking around. Do I have them? Where do I stand in this world, with whom do I connect? Whose needs do I help fill? And I found these groups, and others, all around me. People I see regularly enough that I know them by name, not just face (a continual struggle for me!) People that I know care enough to tell me when I've messed up.

This is my thanks to them - the realization that I am not alone because of them. And in this case, this week, it starts with tea.

IPO

The quiet of a house at midnight is unmatched. Sitting here with a glass of wine listening to dogs snoring and children breathing... so peaceful, so quiet...

until the baby wakes up
because the dog barked
when an older brother
thunked across the wood floor
on his way to the head
because he drank too much Gatorade
before hitting the rack for bed.

(Study Seuss much? There is your poem for the day - and a perfect way to start my IPO blog post!)

As you can see our house is hopping! We have three boys, one girl, two dogs and a cat. The children are all homeschooled - I tried to hs the dogs and the cat, but it really didn't work well. The dogs took to the leash but the cat just flopped down and dared us to drag her across the concrete sidewalk. She pretty well rules the house now. And one of the lovebirds got homeschooled by the Rottie once too - but that's another story for when the mood, and memory, strike me to write it down.

I've come to learn that as many times as I've thought I was the outcast or the silent minority and that I didn't have anyone out there who really connected with me - I'm not alone. There are other Orthodox Christians, homeschoolers, moms to many, (mostly) vegetarians out there. There are other budding photographers, work-from-home, learning to sew, stay-at-home moms. There are other people like me (someday I'll put up the full run-down list, even.) Maybe I will never find someone who connects with me at every point of interest, but at least two or three, and we can just complement one another on the rest.

That's really the point to this blog, I suppose. To connect. I was writing notes on Facebook for "friends-of-friends" to read and even have picked up a few comments along the way! Those will eventually make their ways here to this blog, I suppose. In the meantime, grab your favorite drink (wine, sidecar, water, Gatorade, Perrier) and

sit for a bit
don't read for speed
or because you need
to preview something trite for your kids

Then, if I've touched your heart or your mind, if I've given you a thought or a new perspective - if you can give me an angle I didn't consider before, please, leave your mark - comment, discuss, engage - and pass it on to your "friends-of-friends"; I'd be most grateful!

(Next time, pictures, I promise - I just have to figure out HOW first!) OH and in here you will find recipes, thoughts, hopes, prayers, dreams... politics, laughter, love, and fun among friends and family -

(*ahem* If you'll indulge me one last time:)

even the youngest
among us!