The Game of Not-My-LIFE

Chef loves when we have game night - he loves the challenge of trying to beat Papa, even if it is only in a game of chance rather than skill. But the problem is that sometimes, lots of times, he either wants to play games that are out of his league (and thinks he is top-of-the-line at them) OR he wants to play a game that everyone can join in but that is so mind-numbingly boring that we sometimes question why we ever brought it into the house! This past weekend, the choices were "LIFE" or "Super-Scrabble". We love Scrabble, but it is a four-person game and every one of the kids wanted their own piece of the board game pie, which would have dragged it out waaaaaaayyyy past bedtime, at the least!

So Scrabble was set aside for another night and we cracked LIFE out of storage. We started out by taking our little $100,000 bank loans to go to college and rolled downhill in our opinion of the game from there. Now that we're looking with more scrutiny at our lives and what values we endorse through our actions and possessions, we notice more than we might have before.

I won't bore you with all the details, but here are some things we came up with in later discussion over why LIFE will no longer stay in our lives:

1. Let's start with how BIG the box is! Too much (beg-your-pardon) Real Estate is taken up by this behemoth box in our game cabinet. I'm looking to slim down and trim down when it comes to all the STUFF I have to keep up with.
2. Too many small parts to lose - or take months to gather up from every corner - to put away each time.
3. From the very beginning, the lesson is clear: to get anywhere in life, you have to go into debt. There are a few squares later that talk about "you took a class", etc. but nothing that would give you the boost of college in later life.
4. The church - any church - is only seen twice: once when you get married, once when you donate money for some kind of fund raiser (and by that logic, you could have attended an annual yard sale!) 
5. The picture on the front of the box is all about the M.O.N.E.Y. I'm not looking to argue the money-is-evil point of view. Money is necessary to life for most of us, and it can let us do some pretty neat things, but I don't want to emphasize (especially with Scrooge-McChef) that money is the be-all and end-all to a Life Well Lived, either.
6. For all the talk about family: you get married, have one kid, two kids, twins, etc. and what a great thing that is, again, the emphasis is not on attending picnics with your family or enjoying a day out in the park (non-spending, non-money-earning activities), but on spending  money or paying taxes, fees or fines. There is more to life than that!
7. This game is long and drawn out and there are no consequences within the game other than (you guessed it!) paying a fine. Shoot, even Monopoly has a "Go to Jail" space!
8. And finally, it is a game which sucks the joy out of our too-infrequent game nights because the rules are so complicated and convoluted. When playing with a lot of kids... it's just not worth the evening!

TO THE GIVE-AWAY BINS!!

I would love to hear thoughts on this - 

• why you do or do not allow LIFE (and similar games) into your game cabinet
• if LIFE is off your list, what are some other games that make the cut and still teach about money in a productive, easy way?
• Or do you not like LIFE so much, but you let it stay to open up discussion points while you play?

Shared with: Deep Roots at Home, Living Well Wednesdays, 

Fantastically Frugal: At-Home Wine Night

Spinster Beth, Slick and I talked about possibly going to the Columbia, MD, Wine in the Woods this past weekend. Slick had a wedding to be at and my own husband was working at Preakness, so I gave it some thought. It could have been fun to go out and enjoy the sights, the people and (who are we kidding?) try some new wines. But alas, five children would have to go along (which I am okay with), and the tickets were $30 per adult and $20 per child (which I am not okay with.)

So putting our collective heads together, we have instead decided to do a wine tasting night at home, where our collective money can be better put to wine and goodies to eat. Each of the three families will bring a new wine to try (we've decided to stick to all whites), a couple of appetizers, and fruit or desserts to share. What a great way to have fellowship, try something new - and still be frugal!

First, some of the appetizers: (total cost, roughly $30)

Just add sour cream and mayonnaise!

• Cheese and Crackers
• Guacamole (home-made!) and Chips
• Veggies and Dips
• Olives and Garlic
• Chocolate for dessert
• Roquefort to go with the dessert wine

Delicious Mango dip (recipe on the back of the bottle)

We decided to do whites for this weekend, and save reds for another time. A "traditional" wine tasting would start with the lighter whites, progressing toward the heavier reds. Since we were doing it our own way, we stuck with whites. 

Next, the wines... (Total cost, minus the Sauternes, - it was a gift - but including the sparkling white, roughly $40)

Left to right, we have the...

• Apothic White - a "Winemaker's Blend" with Muscato grapes, the Muscato gives it a slightly sweeter taste
• a Chateau des Palmiers Sauternes - Jeff's favorite little dessert wine that we were given as a gift for Jeff's graduation
• Yalumba Viogner Chardonnay - from "Australia's oldest family-owned winery"
• Wente Chardonnay - from San Francisco Bay in California, this was the driest of our four here, but (I thought) quite tasty

The cost breakdown: About $70, split between three families still means we spent less than we would have if we had gone to the local wine event!

We also had a sparkling white, but I don't have a picture of that one. There is value in jumping out there and trying new flavors, but not in breaking the bank. Looking forward to Red Night!

What are your favorite goodies for Wine Night?

The Power of Words: Going on a Date?

Dating vs. Courtship

Side note: "Teen" vs. "young wo/man" is a post for a later time, but for this particular post, I'll use "teen" in its most literal sense of "someone with the word -teen in his age."

Anyway... Especially as Maestro reaches his teen years, the topic of "dating" and "courtship" has been taking up more and more of my attention. I have talked with the boys about both concepts many times through the years, but before I know it, push will come to shove and we'll have girls knocking at the door for more than "can so-and-so come out to play??"

So what is the big deal about dating, anyway? 

Maintaining Focus

First, an announcement: 

After a lot of hard work, time and (ahem) focus, Jeff graduated with his Bachelor's of Arts in History this past weekend. This is a big moment for us - and the best part about it is that his brother also graduated a few weeks ago, just as my sister and I both graduated in 2010. 

What a huge achievement for two wonderful men and their proud Mama and wives!

And now a story... from the every-day "life with boys"...

The Power of Words - Going to the Prom?

"Prom" vs. "Ball" (or: Why not the prom?)

Okay, here comes my inner Prude. I've learned to embrace her. Prude is my friend and moral helper. Dear Reader, meet "Prudie".

Maestro made a comment on the way to church this morning that really got me thinking. His comment revolved around my insistence in using more specific words for various things and events in life: "prom" vs. a "Ball" (in this case military); "Dating" vs. "Courtship"; "Young lady/man" vs. "Teen", etc. Since I have talked with my very word-specific husband for hour upon hour, I suppose a bit of his... obsession... has rubbed off on me!

"What's the difference?!" says a very exasperated Maestro.

Growing Through Challenges

We have a lot going on in life this year - well, we will have. We are dealing with physical, financial, and emotional challenges, things that will stretch us to think about, things we worry over and carefully weigh the end results of the decisions made. We're looking at: a move (after 10 years of being here in this same house), a mortgage that is "upside down" (for the first time ever), whether to sell or rent out our house when we move, how to deal with the kids' braces upon moving (do we wait to get them started or do we start now and then find a new provider when we get to where we're going, car repairs (I whacked our car into a tree last weekend and it needs fixing,) new home school laws in the state to which we're moving, and on and on and on.

Positive thinking helps overcome so many challenges in life!

It's a lot - and we can look at it and say it's a lot and focus on the difficulties therein, or we can look and remember that we have a strong family; we have good friends; we have options... We can decide to see this as a time of spiritual, emotional, mental and family growth. A time when challenges will make us stronger all around.

It seems like such a small matter to make these mental shifts but the difference is so important. Here is a challenge: next time you're driving around town, look for other cars that are the same color as your own. If you are looking for only red or blue or black cars you're going to see them in droves!

The same concept rings true for the challenges we have in life. If we're looking for the good that life give us, the blessings, we're more likely to see the blessings before we see the "I can't"s.

Isn't it better to look at life and feel like you have the bull by the horns? Like maybe there is struggle involved, but you have it covered. You're going to handle it, whatever "it" is.

What are you struggling with? Share your thoughts below and we'll pray for your success!

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Requiring Respect in Children

As a young child, my mother taught me that children should respect adults ... just because they were adults. That my respect was simply a requirement of my very existence. As an early teen, I had some friends convince me that "adults should have to 'earn' my respect." Actually, I had some adults who believed that as well. I carried some of that "earned respect" belief right up into adulthood.

Then my first child made it to five years old and decided to show that he didn't respect me as his mother. *ahem* His military Papa didn't agree with my earned-respect philosophy and our precocious boy got into trouble. In our sometimes heated discussions about this issue, he pointed something out to me that hadn't occurred to me before - something that I suppose should have been obvious:

A child's respect has already been earned!