Saturday, July 21, 2012

Vulnerability, Patience and Trust

We are smack in the middle of a move and it has taken over the bulk of my life's existence lately. The cleaning, packing, organizing, getting-rid-of-stuff... Life right now is a constant struggle between the chaos of five children and the chaos of keeping the house "show ready" for potential renters! (Want to see tips on a somewhat stress-free move? Head over to the newest blog that I write on: Rose From a Rock. If you're tired of me and the dog-gone move, head over to Three Friends Fitness to see my new sporty passion: Indoor Rock Climbing! And believe me, I am hooked!)


The front of the house, after we set it up for "curb appeal". Cute, huh?
It's a bit of a struggle for me. It's so hard to open what has been our home up as "just" a house. It's hard to not think that just because my house isn't right for that person, it isn't a rejection of me or my family. And every time someone calls to say, "Can I come take a look?" There is excitement there - "will this one be it?" - and fear anew. So it is not just business for us.

Granted, we are new at this; it is our first house to let out. We'll get used to it, I suppose. But right now, we don't know enough about the forms to fill out, Baltimore City requirements, how strict should we be with applicants... so much to do! And we're rising to meet the challenges we face. We're learning. We will be wiser and stronger after this.

This need to open our home and expose our cleaning abilities and "stuff" to strangers who are in our home to evaluate it's worth for their lives, leaves me feeling vulnerable. And so I have been doing a lot of praying and waiting. As each person is nearing our house for a walk-through, I ask for patience and that if this is the "right person" or not the right one, it will be easy to tell early on.

Mental note: be careful what you wish for - you just might get it! The last time I said that little prayer, the guy who had called to tell us he was coming called a bit later to say he had driven through the neighborhood and it wasn't right for their family. Yikes!

In the meantime, as of two days ago, we were still #10 out of 43 on a waiting list for housing at our next location. So I've been praying for that too. And we've been vulnerable to doubt about whether a house will open up before Jeff needs to be at his new job. Whether we'll have to be split up for a time, and deal with the subsequent difficulty of how to handle having only one car.

And the still, small voice that comes after the heavy winds of the storm says, "Wait. Be patient. It will all work out."

We look at our finances, the tension and stress mounting in our kids and our family, the many repairs and jobs needing to be done...

Wait. Be patient. It will all work out.


And though we are vulnerable and it is increasingly pressed upon us that we really (really!) aren't in control here, it WILL be okay because we have so many blessings going for us.

And so tonight, as I cut up apples for a crumble, I prayed again: "If we're going to get down there together, can you show us something this week?"

I know we're not supposed to challenge the Lord; I know that my faith is stronger, and better placed, if I just wait quietly and see what happens, but sometimes it feels better to at least ask. And if the answer is no, then it's no.

But as I pulled the noodles from the oven to serve dinner, Jeff came into the room. "Hey did you see this e-mail? We can have a house to move into on August --, we have until Monday to let them know. What do you think?"

I think... it's another answered prayer.

Be sure to check out what's going on at Women Living Well Wednesdays and A Mother's Heritage this week!

4 comments:

  1. I pray that you will have safe FULL SAILS with the Wind at your backs! Blessing on your new Home! Love you all! Uncle Bill and Aunt Donna

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    1. Thanks very much for the good wishes, Donna, Bill. We're excited about the new adventure and getting to see a new place - even as we'll miss the folks here. It's a lot of work, and a lot of time, but we're ready!

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  2. Good luck, Tillie! I know things will work out for whatever is right for you and your family. I hope it is soon and that you have a wonderful new community and adventure in your new surroundings.

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    1. Thanks, Mary! We need all the luck we can get. We've had such a great run here that it is making it hard to go, a very bittersweet move indeed. It looks like we'll have a couple of weeks of separation but it will work out in the end, I know.

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I look forward to hearing your thoughts!

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